She's the Principal of C3 College, sits on the C3 executive team overseeing discipleship, coordinates a Master's program for C3 pastors at Alphacrucis University College, and somewhere in between is quietly finishing a PhD. She's also single, and completely done being treated like a problem the church needs to solve.

In this episode, Pam and Katie talk about the real grief of singleness (and why it never fully disappears, it just gets less intense), the moment a scripture from Numbers — "life and death stand before you, choose life" — changed everything, and why she refuses to sit in a "singles connect group" full of, as Katie puts it, "weeping willows." They get into everything church culture gets wrong about single people: the singles-auction-on-stage humiliation, the isolation, the even-numbers-only dinner parties — and what actually helps: texting people instead of waiting to be invited, being included in kids' weddings and Christmas plans, and a pastor bold enough to admit his own blind spots on stage.

It's a conversation about theology too — the goal of the Christian life was never marriage, it was Christ formed in you — and about identity: "I'm more than my status. It's honestly the least interesting thing about me.

Kirsty Neilson has been hung in the Archibald Prize four times, painted the likes of Cheng Lei, Ita Buttrose and Garry McDonald, and built a fifteen-year career on stepping out before she could see where she'd land. In this episode she sits down with Katie to talk about what actually changed her relationship with her own singleness — the desperate, self-righteous prayers, the church culture that only knows how to pray singles into marriage, and the moment she heard "it's not rejection, it's protection. Move on." They talk freedom, mission work in Uganda and Ethiopia, and why the value of this season isn't a "what if" — it's now.

00:00 – Welcome to Kirsty's studio; why Pentecostal Nun exists to have open, honest conversations about singleness 00:34 – Fifteen years as a full-time artist: from fine arts, to a false start in fashion design, to doors closing until art was the only one left open 01:34 – Stepping out in faith on the strength of two commissions 02:34 – Entering the Archibald Prize for the first time 03:04 – Hung in the Archibald Prize four times 03:34 – Portrait subjects: Ita Buttrose, Garry McDonald, and Cheng Lei — the Australian-Chinese journalist detained in China, painted in 2024 04:12 – Why she's drawn to painting empowering, justice-driven stories; the new studio and a stretch into landscape work 04:38 – "We're the ones who put the roof on the house" — daring to dream bigger 05:24 – Why Katie wanted Kirsty on the show: singles sitting up the back of church, and flipping that into celebration 05:57 – The best thing about being single: freedom, full stop 06:52 – "I'm not living in the waiting room" 08:20 – Naming the "waiting room" headspace as something close to depression 08:56 – This year's posture: seek first the kingdom, not a husband 09:15 – Desperate prayers and Bridget Jones moments — and why God's fine with the mess 09:48 – The self-righteous trap: I've given you so much, Lord — don't I deserve this? 10:24 – Feeling condemned, punished, not good enough 10:55 – The case for celebrating not marrying the wrong person as much as we celebrate a wedding 12:17 – The miracle-offering seat next to her got married — twice 12:39 – Self-hatred, self-worth, and the toll it took on her relationship with God 12:58 – The word that changed everything: "It's not rejection, it's protection. Move on." 13:16 – The eighteen-month decision to stop the pity party 13:57 – "Fight for your joy, fight for your happiness, fight for truth" 14:27 – What the church consistently gets wrong: singles feel unseen 15:01 – The prayer meeting story — prayed for everyone down to the pets, then finally: "Lord, we pray that the singles would come in and get married." 15:31 – Why that prayer misses it entirely: "We don't have a disease. We're not lepers. We just need to be valued for who we are." 16:33 – The dinner-party question — justifying her life to a stranger who asked if she had kids 18:02 – "We could get married if we wanted to. We've chosen this lifestyle." 18:34 – Mission work: five trips to Uganda with Watoto — building a classroom, a teacher's dormitory, a multi-purpose hall, a greenhouse, water bores, and handing out gumboots, rice and sugar 20:54 – Getting your eyes off yourself and onto your purpose — "play your puzzle piece well" 22:09 – Ambassador for the Barbara May Foundation and Valerie Browning — known as "Malika," working maternal health in the Afar region of Ethiopia 23:07 – Vaccinating children by camel, 18 hours through 50–60 degree desert heat 23:29 – Dr Andrew Browning, world-leading fistula surgeon, and the foundation's maternal health work 24:29 – "The value is now. Not the what-if, not waiting to be happy." 25:38 – The line that wounded her for over a decade: a youth leader told a grieving girl, "God loves her too much to make her live single like you" 26:37 – Getting her heart healed — and what it looks like to build from a heart that knows it's loved

About Kirsty Neilson

Kirsty Neilson is a Sydney-based portrait and landscape artist represented by Nanda\Hobbs, and a four-time Archibald Prize finalist (including her 2024 portrait of journalist Cheng Lei). Her past sitters include Ita Buttrose, Garry McDonald, Grace Tame and Rachel Ward. She holds a Bachelor of Fine Arts from the National Art School and is drawn to painting women with stories worth telling. Beyond the studio, Kirsty is an ambassador for the Barbara May Foundation, has completed five mission trips to Uganda with Watoto, and has worked with Esther's Voice providing art therapy to survivors of trafficking in Cambodia.

Instagram: @kirstyneilson

Website: kirstyneilson.com

She's not putting marriage down. She's putting singleness where it belongs — as a whole, complete calling.

In Episode 1 of The Pentecostal Nun, Dr Katie Haldane makes the biblical case that a single season, whether it lasts a day or a decade, is a good gift from God — not a diagnosis, not a punishment, and not a waiting room for “real life” to start.

Backed by Tim Keller, 1 Corinthians 7, and one very Australian story involving a fallen tree and a chainsaw, this episode reframes what it means to be whole in Christ — single, secure, and sold out.

🔔 Subscribe for new episodes of The Pentecostal Nun 📌 A calling, not a waiting room.
In this episode
— Why “poor you” is the wrong response to singleness
— and what to say instead
— Tim Keller's case that Christianity was the first religion to treat singleness as a viable calling
— What Jesus's own unmarried life means for anyone who feels like a “lesser Christian”
— The difference between being alone and being lonely
— and how the church can do better — Why desperate people make desperate decisions, and how to reject the fear of missing out
— Katie's four keys to being single and secure: gift, advantage, worth, and freedom from shame

Scripture referenced 1 Corinthians 7:7–9, 7:29, 7:32–35 · Genesis 2:18 · Psalm 68:6 · Romans 12:10 · Colossians 2:6–10 · Philippians 4:11 · Isaiah 54:4–5